Dear Mama,
Six months ago I told you I wanted to run. You didn’t say anything. I thought you didn’t hear me. So I repeated what I said. You just looked at me and said “Magpapagod ka lang.” I felt sad. I was hoping you would support me just like you did in all my other endeavours. I didn’t mind though. I just thought you might be tired and you didn’t want to be bothered.
I slept that night with mixed emotions. Excited – because I hadn’t run for the longest time. Apprehensive – because my left tibia was fractured some years ago. Happy – because I knew I would be doing something I love doing. Worried – because I might not wake up on time. But most of all, I was sad because you didn’t show even the slightest support.
The next day, at exactly 5:00 am, my alarm went off. I got off from bed, said a little prayer, change my clothes, stretched a little, sat on the edge of my bed and stared blankly on my life-size mirror. I was thinking of backing out and going back to sleep. In a little while, you knocked on my door. From the outside of my room I heard you said “Anak, di ba tatakbo ka?” That made me stood from where I was sitting and smiled as I walked outside my room.
Few weeks after, I announced that I will join a fun run. You thought it was a waste of time and money. But I enlisted anyway. On the day of the race, you woke me up. You nagged about how slowpoke I was. You said I should be waiting for the first trip otherwise I would miss it. You patiently accompanied me outside our gate as I wait for the first trip to Cabanatuan. When the passenger jeepney finally arrived, I bade good bye. You told me to take care.
In the last six months never did I hear you wish me luck in any of the races. But every time I got home, I would see fruits in the kitchen – banana, apple, grapes, mango, papaya, mangosteen, and many more. You would also buy me peanut butter. I once mentioned to you that runners need peanut butter. And during races, you would patiently accompany me outside our gate as I wait for the first trip off to Cabanatuan.
In the last six months all I heard from you were nagpapagod ka lang, ang itim mo na, ang payat-payat mo na, etc. But every time our neighbours would comment on my activity, you would always brag that I could run more than 10k. You would also swank that your daughter is mentally and physically strong.
And oh, during those sluggish days (especially during thesis writing days) you would remind me not to skip my training. One time, Diko called. You told me to tell him my shoes were worn out and it’d be nice if he could buy me a new one. When my favorite running shoes gave up on me, you made me use your only running shoes.
Mama, although you are not so vocal of your support on my running activities, your actions speak otherwise. Talk about reverse psychology! You are the best on that aspect. I must say I wouldn’t be where I am right now if you not of those nags – although sometimes I’d like to think you still see me as a little girl.
Fret not Mama. I am still your little girl even if I have become a woman. Do not be afraid that I would fall and get hurt. Always remember how well you taught me to stand up and dust off myself. Be confident that I will reach the finish line undaunted because I know when I get home you lovingly prepared a hearty breakfast for me.
Thank you for bringing out the best in me all the time. You really have a unique way of pushing me to the limits.
I love you Mama – yesterday, today, and tomorrow. You will always be my icon.
Happy Mother's Day.
Love,
Aizie
